Inking Bitterns (after 'Little Women' by Louisa May Alcott)

'Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents,' grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.

'It's so dreadful to be poor!' sighed Meg, looking down at her old dress.  

'I don't think it's fair for some girls to have plenty of pretty things, and other girls nothing at all,' added little Amy, with an injured sniff.  

'We've got Father and Mother, and each other,' said Beth contentedly from the corner, 'but best of all, there's Inking Bitterns, published by Gert Macky Books in association with Poetry Can, hot off the press and costing only £5 per copy! Just about everyone can afford to buy a few of these to give as presents.  And if they're really lucky, they might even get given one themselves, to treasure for ever!  Look, they're available to order from this handy website!  I'm going to buy one for everyone I know - even strange people who think there's something to 'get' about poetry which they feel is beyond them, because all of the poems in this book are enjoyable and accessible, and the illustrations by Dru Marland are just glorious!'

'Let me see!' said Amy, snatching the book from gentle Beth's gentle hands.  'Lawks, Jo, look at these! They're awesome!'

'Gosh, yes, I shall buy one for Laurie and Aunt March! Even that old bat will melt when she sees this beautiful cat in the wind!'

'No, I want to buy one for Aunt March!' cried Amy. 'I'll put it in her stocking. Wait, though, where's Meg?'

'She's online!' cried Jo. 'Quick, stop her before she buys the entire remaining stock! It's such a gorgeous little book (to quote esteemed poet, Penelope Shuttle) that it's sure to sell out if we don't get our orders in quickly!'

'Don't take on so,' soothed Beth. 'We could always get our copies from Acoustic Night Bristol at Halo Cafe Bar on Monday 2nd December. Lots of the featured poets will be there reading from the book and some of them might even be sober enough to sign it.  And failing that, there's another opportunity to hear the poems and buy a copy or four at Can Openers on Friday lunchtime, December 6th.   It'll be upstairs in Foyles as usual.  That'll be one in the eye for that sneaky cow, Meg!'  

And the remaining sisters all agreed that it bloomin' well would be.