It's a little irritating when you go to your GP and ask for an ADHD assessment because you've been pretty sure for years that this is what lies behind the distractibility and executive dysfunction that has plagued your entire life and is now getting to the point where you're really struggling to get basic tasks done, and the GP listens to you describe how stressful the surgery waiting room is with the inanities of Heart Radio blaring over conversations between receptionists and patients and the passing traffic outside, making it impossible to concentrate on the book you've brought to a) while away time and b) have something else to look at other than the orange seating, and says 'I think you should be assessed for autism too', and you say 'sensory sensitivity is also part of ADHD though, isn't it, and anyhow, I tick none of the boxes of the Triad of Impairments' (which is how they diagnosed your children with autism 30+ years ago) and she says 'oh that's very old school, we don't do it like that any more', and then when your ADHD assessment happens, the psychiatrist says 'the fact you obsessively check your work for mistakes despite having ADHD makes me think you might have autism too, so I think you need an autism assessment as well', so you apply for one and wait for months and when it comes along you have four days' notice, and the next day a whole load of unrelated stuff starts kicking off, but you press on anyway even though you don't feel you've prepared enough, and the psychiatrist doing the assessment, who is a different one from the first one, says you 'don't reach the threshold for a diagnosis of autism because you pick up on vibes and other people's feelings' (and this is true, you once spent an afternoon listening to a friend who was really stressed as she poured out her troubles, after which she said she felt much better and you drove home with her migraine, despite not actually suffering from them yourself), and adds that 'sensory processing issues are also part of ADHD, don't you know, and there's nothing in your symptoms that can't be explained by a diagnosis of ADHD with hypersensitivity and anxiety'.
The 'you' is me, of course, and actually I can work with that diagnosis. What I really need, though, is medication. I've been waiting ten months for titration to start. (Submitting my weight and blood pressure four months into this wait to comply with the legal requirement for providers of mental health and psychiatric services to start the process within that length of time hasn't really made a material difference to my situation.)
I do wonder, however, if these categories will wither away in the future, much like the Triad of Impairments has as a diagnostic tool, because this morning I completely missed my footing on my dog walk and fell down some steps, narrowly missing landing in the River Trym, and my ribs and hip are hurting badly. There's also a big black bruise on my forearm from where I misjudged the distance of the door handle while walking from the kitchen into the hall last week and banged right into it. This not-always-knowing-exactly-where-my-body-is-in-time-and-space, plus the nine pins and plate in my leg from when I fell off the doorstep eleven years ago, speak of dyspraxia to me. And though I'm good at spelling, I can't tell my left from my right and I gave up learning to play the piano after eight years because sight-reading musical notation is so laborious for me, both of which deficits are related to dyslexia.
Not that I'm going to request any more assessments. I'm done with that now. It's just that I'm starting to think of my situation and how it presents more from the perspective of neurodivergence as umbrella term, with a pick-n-mix of symptoms. And since I see things the way I do, this gives me a precise picture: the umbrella is a dusty black, faded along the folds from being stored in a sunny hallway. It has various coloured patches, and other holes and tears, though it makes little difference whether the holes have been patched or not with regard to their ability to keep out the rain and sun; they let both through at the same time. And that's the beauty of it, really.
Hi Deb ..interesting programme on the radio yesterday afternoon about ADHD and how the term came about from its original ADD. The ‘professionals’ were all from the world of medicine..mostly saying that schools fail to deal with ADHD pupils and only want them referred on to another facility which completely fails to understand the extremely prolonged and problematic process of getting pupils properly assessed. There seems to be a new theory that there is no such medical thing as ADHD and that it is just a social construct? This did not get much support from the many parents who phoned in with their own experiences. Drugs were also discussed…I remember trying to dissuade a parent from giving his child Ritalin ! The psychiatrist who was mainly engaged with assessment of adults said that it was no exact science and she had a long way to go before we really understood what it was and how to treat it. Anyway enough babbling on…hope you feel better from your fall soon. All best ..Tina x
ReplyDeleteI think people who say it's just a social construct should try walking in the shoes of a neurodivergent family for a time.
ReplyDeleteAs for medication, personally I can't wait for titration to start. I've been in burn out for nearly 20 years, since my hysterectomy, and it affects all aspects of my life.